Holiday Season

Well here we are, well into November with Thanksgiving a week away! I can feel the melancholy try to settle over me and I'm not sure why. How ridiculous. I have started 4 blogs now dedicated to different things. Fitness, Faith, my daughter, and general updates. I feel better when I write so I'm going to do it. It's amazing how time flies. I keep thinking about where I was a year ago and where I'll be next year. So many changes this year. So many of my friends having babies, another due next year and my brother Josh is going to make me an auntie in June. I'm thrilled. I met my dad, we talk a couple times a week, I talk to my brothers and my step mom. There was some tension with my mom it lasted a minute but it was different. Had 2 relationships this last year and lost 2. Recommitted to my faith. Not that I'd ever left, but recommitted myself to the teaching and learning. On a good note, I had all of my Christmas cards ready to go out a week ago. I'll drop them in the mail the day after Thanksgiving. Yeah I'm a little overzealous sometimes. I'm making some gifts this year. A little ambitious I guess but I'm gonna give it a shot. Sarah is doing well. She's healthy and happy. She's amazing and wonderful and sometimes a pain in the butt. But, I love her so much!!!!! Happy November 18th everyone! ~jeni

Facebook Rant

Sometimes I hate you Facebook. I hate the stupid FV cows and the FV fish, I hate the wild west of FV and I don't want to be part of a mafia. Really though? I hate finding out I'm friends with people who are friends with people I can't stand, or people who've broken my heart. Some days it's too easy to find who I didn't really want to find anyway. Some days Facebook I hate you. Today is that day Facebook. Today I hate you. I hate the way I want to write, want to talk, want to rant. I hate that I'm teased, with glimpses of home, with pictures, and videos, and snippets of lives of the people I miss. I hate you Facebook, because when I am done here, I know that I will refresh my Facebook tab and maybe plant some crops in FV, check on my SPP, and let all of Facebook know that I have updated my blog. I'll respond to questions, quizzes and pithy sayings all of my friends have posted. And next thing I know it'll be time to go home. Sometimes, I HATE you Facebook!

Oklahoma

Nathan
Me and Dad
Sarah, Me and Dad
Dad
Sarah and Josh


I met my dad and 2 other brothers for the first time October 14, 2010. I recognized the eyes, my dad has a long beard that covers his face, but I saw the eyes, so familiar, full of kindness and love. I met my brother Nathan who is so sweet and kind, and Josh who is also kind but a true bad boy at heart. We spent the evening eating pizza and rough housing and getting to know each other. Josh, Sarah, dad and I had a pillow fight, Josh and I swung Sarah around on bedsheets and Sarah jumped from the archway onto their bed over and over and over. There was alot of laughter, Dad shed a few tears, but ultimately we were able to leave the past where it was and move forward. The 15th Josh left in the morning for work, Nathan, Dad, Sarah, my mom and myself went to the Oklahoma Aquarium (AWESOME) out to lunch at a great little diner in Jenks, Oklahoma. Went back to the hotel and Dad took a rest (old) and mom, Sarah, Nathan, and I swan for a bit. Then to top off the first day with his grandbaby, Dad decided we should all go to the Tulsa Zoo. It was certainly a day to remember. Nathan and I managed to get some great pics for his senior photos. (Will be up soon) Breakfast in the morning before we leave. I'm still taking it all in, I love my family. Mama Sarah didn't get to come so she's the only one I haven't met yet. However, Nathan asked me to go to his graduation, and I won't miss that for the world, so I'll meet her then. I think she and I could waste a whole day just shooting the breeze, if our phone conversations are anything to go by. :) Sarah (mine) bonded really quickly with her uncle Josh. She loves Nathan but sees him as someone to tease (Thanks Josh) and sees Uncle Josh as a playmate, against me and Nathan... Sarah loves having a Grandpa again. She really loved her father's dad, but doesn't see him anymore. And when we moved from Idaho she had to leave her Papa Brad behind. Well, the road trip with my mom is amazing, meeting my dad and brothers is amazing and I am sooo blessed! I will post pics when I get home. So, that's the update. Love ya, Jen

O-K-L-A-H-O-M-A Oklahoma, OK!

So I'm traveling to Oklahoma next week to meet my father. I'm nervous and a little scared about it, but I'm sure it'll be fine. God's got my back and plus... my mom's going with me... LOL I'll have to post pics and stuff...

New trainer

I got a new trainer named Hollie. I've had 2 sessions with her and I love it. I love going but somehow I still think of excuses not to go. It's weird but I know I'll feel better, maybe it's just GOING somewhere... So when I'm supposed to be looking in the mirror at my stance and form I actually watch the people working out nearby. They all look at me and think "Thank goodness I'm not her." It's almost funny. I love having Hollie as a trainer and I love the way my body is starting to feel.

Health and Fitness

Things are changing. I'm finding myself thinking more. About what I'm eating. Yeah McDonald's tastes good, but gives me a stomach ache. I have a personal trainer now. Ex football player for the NCAA. He pushes and it hurts but it feels great when we're done. He demands my best. I don't want to be fat anymore. I'm going to change, but it's going to take time and I'm afraid of losing my motivation. (Although Marquell tends to be a good motivator) I'm scared. But something somehow has got to change.

Peace

I'm peaceful. I don't mourn E.C. quite as badly as before, I don't mourn my failed relationship, I have peace. I have more affiliation with people in the Word than I have...ever. I lost two people in my life this week though. Saying what I believe on Facebook and just making comments in general made them upset with me. I was called selfish and rude and careless. I was told I "cram" God down someone's throat. Having a conversation about faith and God to me is not cramming anything anywhere. I worry so much about my friends who aren't saved. One said "It's not like you're a minister" I replied "Not yet but I am working on that." I finally stopped the fight on Facebook because it wasn't getting us anywhere. I finished with I love you. I really thought I'd be sad about it... I'm not. i feel unburdened to not have to constantly try to "people please". I also stopped communication with two people who believe they are christians but acted the opposite. They used my kindness against me and that is my biggest downfall. I used to think that once the hand of friendship was dealt I was lucky to have a friend. I never realized that sometimes we are to let go. It's hard to give emotionally and any other way to people who cannot help uplift you. So I can say I was blessed this week to have several large burdens removed in the shape of people I love. I can now say "Whatever Lord" because I'm leaving them in His care. God is merciful. ~Jesus Loving Princess